Brick Wall

I'm frustrated with the state. I applied for their PCN medical program. There is only 1 time per year you can enroll. They added what we pay for rent into what we receive as income. They called it "inkind" income. I think they misunderstand. So we are $87 over the allowed limit to received state medical. 


I saw a doctor today to fill out paperwork for applying for disability. I can't work many hours with my seizure disorder and fatigue. I wouldn't last a week working the typical 7/8am -4pm job. When I wake up early I trigger seizures. The doctor was very helpful. I feel like I have a chance with the details he was able to provide the state on my form.  My social worker was notified about starting the application process, I just have to wait around for her to call me. I've submitted all my portion of the documents. 


I've found more success controlling my seizures by sleeping in until my body naturally wakes up whether that be 10 or 11 am. Then I use my wheelchair or a stores power chair scooter when we are about. It is frustrating to me, because many people are nervous to be around me. So I feel like I am restricted in what I can do without having my mom or husband around me to look out for me. I can't wait for Ruby to be fully trained so I can go wherever I want. She has been in heat for the last 3 weeks, so I've not enjoyed her companionship. When I am stressed out, she just looks at me with her big brown eyes. She stays close and it is almost as if she can feel that I'm out of sorts. 


I'm still waiting to hear back from the CreAte group in Salt Lake City about receiving my powerchair. I've heard that Jazzy's are good for speed and distance. They recommended that I get a Pronto. I just hope whatever I get that it can go far on a full charge. I don't want to be stuck somewhere without power. I would get another Quickie, since it was good on distance per charge, but it made me really nervous at its ability to tip easily. That sensation scared me. One time I hit the crosswalk a little too quickly and everything on my lap flew through the air and landed on the street while my chair did a wheelie while terrifying me. I was a bit mortified as well. I avoided that crossing for several weeks. I was headed across the street to the dorms to visit my sister. Also, the last time I traveled without buckling my backpack in with me. 


Our wedding photos are supposedly in the mail. I guess we'll see if we receive them near the end of the week. It has been 2 years of waiting for them. I hope our photographer has really sent them.