Motivational Video - Overcoming Adversity

September 11th, 2011

I have to say that I am sick and tired of seeing everyone's posts about commemorating 9/11. First of all, why does it take a tragic event to be patriotic? What about the victims of the Holocaust, Vietnam, WW1/WW2, Desert Storm, Iraq ect. 
I know I'm a bit cranky today and not feeling the greatest, but really people. If you aren't waving your flag year-round, then what right do you have to call yourself patriotic on a specific day!   {Stepping off my soap box.....}


Today was a relatively good day at church. We has a small debate during Relief Society about the Spirit World after we die. I didn't realize that we will be in an adult form during that frame of time. Interesting! The main debate was ridiculous. None of us are dead, so it is not like one person can adequately declare another's salvation or lack thereof. The point I brought out in argument is the fact that we aren't perfected until the resurrection. I guess ignorance is bliss for some people. I actually stayed in my church dress until the afternoon. I went to Choir at 3pm. It seems like a nice song. We are going to sing it next Sunday. I sing soprano, but not old lady style as I told the choir director. I re-located my seat since I was getting agitated by the little kids around me making a ruckus. This evening we had a nice cool breeze outside. I never saw any signs of the thunderstorms we were supposed to get, but it was a nice breeze coming through the house. I've mostly parked myself on the couch with a small blanket as I have not been doing a good job at managing my body temperature lately. Sometimes I'm scorching hot while others are clearly fine, and other times I'm freezing when people around me are soaking up the breeze of the swamp cooler. I'm hoping things get resolved soon as I'm tired of biting my tongue as to not flip out at people because I'm so easily agitated and don't feel good. I sure hope my future beholds better health. I know everyone has challenges that are fitting for them individually, but it seems like mine have been really far fetched and lengthly. I guess I just feel really overdue for some good health. 

Time Has Flown!

So I can't tell you how quickly time has flown by.  But I'm sure anyone who follows my blog has probably noticed the huge gap in time since I posted last. I don't really have any excuses except to say I think I'm finally experiencing healing and life. 

Graduation was great and a huge burden lifted from off my shoulders. The few days leading up to graduation were still tough for me to battle through as I caught an intestinal flu bug from someone. Probably better that I didn't know who...as I was pondering how to kill them. I had a fever of 103, yet somehow was still attempting to pack boxes so that we could clean our apartment and move out. Our apartment was sparkling clean even though the management ripped us off on our deposit. University Courtyard is close to school, but I can almost guarantee you that you won't see your full deposit regardless of how you clean when you move out. Growing up in the military I learned the meaning of "deep cleaning". So I will step down off my soap box now. 


My parents came up for graduation including my foster brother. He is special needs and a ward of the state. So he had to get special permission to be able to go out of state for my graduation. I'm glad he was able to come and tour the campus. My mom helped me administer my first dog vaccination. I'm sure there is a reason that I did not go to school to become a veterinarian. I succeeded and actually it was kind of fun to mix the vials together and suck the medicine up in the needle syringe. Ruby cried a bit. She is our little drama queen. We then proceeded to shave her fur down so that she would look nice walking with me during graduation. ****Wow....you'd think we were trying to kill her or something. She yelped, cried, whined quite loudly for an apartment complex. People would intentionally get out of their cars and walk past our door to see what we were doing to the poor dog. I was assisting in the pinning down of her since she was throwing her dog legs, arms, and body around trying to get away. I will definitely include some pictures of this great memorable experience at another time. ***********

I'm not entirely sure where the last 7 weeks has even gone, but little by little I'm starting to feel more human and healthy. It has been a LONG and SLOW journey. I've learned a tremendous amount along the way. I have absolutely no idea what Heavenly Father has in store for me. Other than I've had the thought that in the future I might be a Relief Society President which completely terrifies me. It truly feels like I got a crash course in medical school without the certificate. Through the 7 week break I've only had 3 seizures which is an absolute miracle. 1 was provoked by dental work, as I do not do well on meds. The other 2 were provoked by not eating lunch on time. As I was attending a SOAR class (also known as Take Down) for kids that are out of control. I figured we were almost done and that I would eat soon enough even though I was getting the low blood sugar headache along the left side of my head. We eventually finished and I quickly went to the water spicket to fill up my cup of noodle soup that I had brought for lunch. I couldn't get the hot water spout to work. It had a tricky push down and slide mechanism. As I attempted to follow the instructors instructions I noticed that my arms were shaking. So it was probably a good idea that the boiling hot water wasn't actually coming out. I'm not sure how much time passed, but at a point I realized that she was now holding my full soup cup and told me to let go that she had it. I slowly let go and attempted to sit on the rolling chair at the table. Things were slow and a little foggy. I felt my torso tensing up and I'm not sure how much time passed but I had a seizure, and barely was able to come out of it before a second one started. I can usually tell if I will be done with one seizure or will have a second one, because my head will either feel clear and done or it will still feel like a refrigerator motor is alive in my head.    I was a little mortified when my seizure ended and I found myself surrounded by the RISE staff and head director lady. I was hoping that the job I was applying for to become a respite worker wasn't about to be jeopardized. Thankfully it wasn't. After an additional hour quick training, I came home and slept on the couch. Ruby must have known something was up, since she wasn't her normal rambunctious self and actually laid curled up behind my legs and slept on the couch. Apparently my family members found this to be a photo shoot time, because I now of pictures of myself sleeping. *These too will be posted in the future. * I am leaving way too early tomorrow morning to go to Idaho for a dentist appt. in St. Anthony, Idaho to have my crown done on my tooth. Elizabeth will be moving into Perkins hall for her 6th semester at BYU-Idaho. She enjoys living in close proximity to everything on campus especially when winter is close around the corner. 
       So what have I been doing this past 7 weeks?? We'll lots of weeding around corn, and tomatoes. Unpacking, attempting to located clothes and odds and ends that got packed in places I didn't imagine they'd have been packed in. Helping organize a neighborhood block party. Drove to Orem to pick up DNA/Fingerprinting kits for the neighborhood kids. I arranged for the Fire Department and ambulance to come for the kids to climb on and get a tour of all the nifty buttons and switches located on it. Went to the University of Utah hospital Rheumatology clinic and also had a Sleep study done there shortly before the end of the Spring semester. By the way....at this point I have declared myself petitioning to refuse to return back to the hospital for a follow-up. I'm fed up with doing hundreds of tests and coming up with no answers, but odd little insignificant facts that I'm a unique individual. I have hyper-mobile joints, but clearly don't have Marfans disease. If I'd known that was the reason I was going to the Rhuematology clinic to be evaluated for I would have cancelled the appointment or been a "no show." A complete waste of money and time. So since I have my results of NOTHING...I have ZERO interest in following back up at the headache clinic to discuss my zero results. In addition...I also have not followed the headache clinics instructions to take certain medication, and have on my own figured out a way to stop my migraines. So I feel no need to take medication when I'm not having migraines anymore. This is just a sampling of the ignorant doctors I've dealt with in the past 1 1/2 years. Also, a small Delta flight into the H E double hockey sticks that I've been to and don't plan a return flight to ever again. I know life is about challenges, trials and testing, but I don't think living in outer darkness is part of the plan. 


So a great friend of mine pestered me until I caved to go to a chiropractor. Rarely happens by the way. I'm pretty darn stubborn! Growing up I've always thought of chiropractors as quacks, so I was reluctant to go. Probably a good thing I had no idea what was coming and was pretty relaxed. He tweaked my head to the side and a series of loud cracks and pops could be heard by the receptionist in the front lobby. Then knowing what was coming next to the other side, it was hard to relax. I have not had a single migraine since June. On average they would last 6-7 days, and usually resulted in me going into the E.R. for I.V. medications to stop the migraines or at least dim the pain. The fewer seizures I had, the more migraines I'd have. So it was kind of a devils advocate deal. I grew more accustomed to having more seizures and felt that was the least of my problems in comparison to the migraines. So that is a tender mercy that I've been very grateful for and celebrating! No migraines for 2 solid months! 
Holy smokes...It is quite late, and I'll have to be awake before my body signifies it is the proper hour to be alive. Going to bed.